Day 2. I'm excited about the idea of this blog! It's making me pay attention to my own thoughts rather than other content. While I was sketching in the studio yesterday, I happened to listen to a podcast, where Dr. Martha Beck was talking about her journey and path to integrity. Some of the stuff I heard really made me pause. And it all seems rather obvious when you think about it, but she talked about really listening to what your body wants. What makes you resist a bit, what lights you up. She talks about using those indicators to help you course correct. It sounds obvious till you actually try it. We have been taught to have so many 'shoulds' in our heads that it's hard to tell if I hate something because I'm feeling lazy, or because it's really not my thing. But I think if you listen close enough you'll know the difference.
The big factor here is the pause. Do we pause long enough to pay attention? So thats exactly what I want to do with this experiment. I want to pay better attention to myself and less to the input from the socials. I want to see what lights me up. What is it that feels tedious to others, but I could do for hours? And maybe I will be pulled to do something that seems alarming (like taking a break....doing nothing...) but if ones heart is really tugging at you to go one way, I think its our job to listen and follow if possible. The body and intuition has a wisdom that our over active, programmed brains maybe dont.
So recently what I've been desperately craving has been some quiet. In my head. My mind has been buzzing with a lot of things, including work, projects, art, mom stuff, daughter stuff. Just a lot of stuff. To add to the mental chaos, we took on a home renovation project where we changed the tiles and painted the walls. (by we I mean people who know how to do this) What WE had to do, was literally pack everything we possess into boxes so they could have all the floor and all the walls! After living out of boxes for several weeks, I have finally created this tiny quiet reading spot for myself. It has given me the greatest joy. It's like a big exhale. I have started sitting here in the morning with my tea (spot the mug on the shelf) and going through old magazines that I will donate soon. The walls are empty, even the rest of the room is empty. It just settles my nerves. I am NOT allowed to look at my phone when I'm here. So I start the day thinking my OWN thoughts for a bit.
I also have realized that sometimes I just need to mindlessly sketch things that make me happy. Will no purpose or plan. So it seems cups and mugs of tea are doing the trick, and yesterday it was this Alice in Wonderland mug filled with my most often used tools that felt fun. I'm also playing with patterns and colors and I realize that maybe I overdid it here? Oh well.
I also had fun this morning reorganizing my box of markers! Color is just something I love so much! These are dual tip pen brushes by MOGYANN. I got it from amazon for no other reason than it seemed like a reasonable price and a lot of colors. I plan to extract every drop of color from them :)
Thats all I have for today! Hope I can fill my day with intentional activity and moments of quiet. Hope you can too...to the 5 readers of this blog!!!